Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Sex in Iceland
Promise you won't tell? I watched Oprah tonight after getting home late from work (about 10). After a hearty meal of peas, rice, gravy, butternut and lots of balsamic vinegar all in the same bowl and heated up, I settled down to see if there was anything on TV. Behold - Oprah (don't tell anyone) was doing her "Women around the world" tour. I tuned in for India, Iceland, Singapore, Belgium, Portugal, Israel and Saudi Arabia. Each segment started with a clip filmed in that particular country showing something of life there with some of those guests then joining Oprah (don't tell anyone) in studio...which of course meant some gifts for her.
India bought her a sari and helped put it on. Oprah (don't tell anyone), once she found out that sari's are meant to be worn without any other clothes, suggested maybe she should take off her jersey - because she had rather a sexy bra on underneath...well good then.
Israel was interesting because their segment was put together by an Israeli and a Palestinian woman - who are both friends and are encouraging their nations to live together in peace. Soldiers with guns dominated the daily life segments. Singapore had the usual cleanliness showing large fines for littering (and no chewing gum). The host encouraged Oprah (don't tell anyone) to bring lots of bra's if she was to visit since ALL Singapore bra's are padded - for extra cleavage. Thanks for that bit of trivia, Singapore woman.
Portugal (Lisbon) had, well, rather scary women - who looked pretty staunch and were proud of the fact they smoke more than men (that particular fact got mentioned twice).
Saudi Arabia was probably the most different to the States. Since it's a Muslim country the women are forbidden to show their faces in public and must submit completely to their husbands. I don't know how common wife-beating is, but this particular Saudi Arabian woman was the first who was published in newspapers around the world, first as a TV presenter and then as a very badly beaten (and strangled) wife. I can't imagine what level of inner anger her husband must have to want to kill her (as he told her his intentions were) - but he got the wrist slap of 6 months in prison. Guess it's better than nothing. Oh - and she got custody of their child - and unprecedented victory - one for the good guys girls.
Belgium bought chocolate to the show - they make something like 172 000 tons of chocolate there each year! Gotta visit! Plus they have 200 different types of beer! Gotta visit! (Wait, I don't like beer...but after my recent experience with Chinese beer I *must* give that a try). Oprah (don't tell anyone) was quite funny when it turned out her gift was Belgian chocolate - I quote (to be said with a strong fake southern African-American accent):
"Girl, jus' this mornin' I wuz speakin' to Jeezuz and awl heezz dee-sciples and I promised him I wuz not going to be eatin' any chocolate for six weeks. And then you come in here and offer me CHOCOLATE...I KNOW who YOU are!"
Hee hee. I think she ate the chocolate.
But best of all was Iceland. 4 hours of sunlight in winter and 24 in summer. Hot springs bubble up from the earth making relaxing swimming any time of year. Babies are left outside at least an hour a day to sleep in their prams because the air does them good. Reyjavik (hope I spelt that right) - the capital - lays claim to being a city that never sleeps. And they *do* seem to frequent those bars a lot.
If a 15 year old girl sleeps around, she isn't known as promiscuous; that's just pretty normal - and the same for the boys. I wonder how the Catholic church is doing there?! And apparently it's normal to have sex on a first date. Let me say that again - it's normal to have sex on a first date.
Many of the women are tall, beautiful, blonde and blue-eyed. And it's normal to have sex on a first date. It's not uncommon to have 5 kids, all with different people. And it's normal to have sex on a first date.
I also learnt there are only 300,000 people in Iceland. Hey?! The Icelandic guest (she fits the description above, by the way) bought her country's phone book - which is smaller than Joburg's one. And everyone is listed. Even the prime minister. So Oprah (don't tell anyone) looked him up and gave him a call. Unfortunately he'd already left work but she got to speak to his secretary. Poor guy.
I do have a deep respect for Icelandic humour. Aside from sounding like a softer version of Dutch when they speak, there's a definite sly/sharp grasp on life..."icy" perhaps? I say this because the speciality from Iceland was food..delicacies if you will. Namely shark meat - which by nature must be rotten (don't know why, but judging from audience and O*rah reaction it was nAsty) - and then sheep's testicles. Mwahahaaaa! Give that woman a cigar! Who comes on Oprah and says, "In my country we have delicacy - rotten meat and sheep balls?!?!" Unfortunately Oprah (don't tell anyone) didn't eat *anything* on that platter but she did throw back a tot of some clear vodka-and-fire-like liquid (and laughed an awful lot after that).
How much fun all of that was. So many countries to visit. Iceland sounds great. And it's normal to have sex on a first date.
India bought her a sari and helped put it on. Oprah (don't tell anyone), once she found out that sari's are meant to be worn without any other clothes, suggested maybe she should take off her jersey - because she had rather a sexy bra on underneath...well good then.
Israel was interesting because their segment was put together by an Israeli and a Palestinian woman - who are both friends and are encouraging their nations to live together in peace. Soldiers with guns dominated the daily life segments. Singapore had the usual cleanliness showing large fines for littering (and no chewing gum). The host encouraged Oprah (don't tell anyone) to bring lots of bra's if she was to visit since ALL Singapore bra's are padded - for extra cleavage. Thanks for that bit of trivia, Singapore woman.
Portugal (Lisbon) had, well, rather scary women - who looked pretty staunch and were proud of the fact they smoke more than men (that particular fact got mentioned twice).
Saudi Arabia was probably the most different to the States. Since it's a Muslim country the women are forbidden to show their faces in public and must submit completely to their husbands. I don't know how common wife-beating is, but this particular Saudi Arabian woman was the first who was published in newspapers around the world, first as a TV presenter and then as a very badly beaten (and strangled) wife. I can't imagine what level of inner anger her husband must have to want to kill her (as he told her his intentions were) - but he got the wrist slap of 6 months in prison. Guess it's better than nothing. Oh - and she got custody of their child - and unprecedented victory - one for the good guys girls.
Belgium bought chocolate to the show - they make something like 172 000 tons of chocolate there each year! Gotta visit! Plus they have 200 different types of beer! Gotta visit! (Wait, I don't like beer...but after my recent experience with Chinese beer I *must* give that a try). Oprah (don't tell anyone) was quite funny when it turned out her gift was Belgian chocolate - I quote (to be said with a strong fake southern African-American accent):
"Girl, jus' this mornin' I wuz speakin' to Jeezuz and awl heezz dee-sciples and I promised him I wuz not going to be eatin' any chocolate for six weeks. And then you come in here and offer me CHOCOLATE...I KNOW who YOU are!"
Hee hee. I think she ate the chocolate.
But best of all was Iceland. 4 hours of sunlight in winter and 24 in summer. Hot springs bubble up from the earth making relaxing swimming any time of year. Babies are left outside at least an hour a day to sleep in their prams because the air does them good. Reyjavik (hope I spelt that right) - the capital - lays claim to being a city that never sleeps. And they *do* seem to frequent those bars a lot.
If a 15 year old girl sleeps around, she isn't known as promiscuous; that's just pretty normal - and the same for the boys. I wonder how the Catholic church is doing there?! And apparently it's normal to have sex on a first date. Let me say that again - it's normal to have sex on a first date.
Many of the women are tall, beautiful, blonde and blue-eyed. And it's normal to have sex on a first date. It's not uncommon to have 5 kids, all with different people. And it's normal to have sex on a first date.
I also learnt there are only 300,000 people in Iceland. Hey?! The Icelandic guest (she fits the description above, by the way) bought her country's phone book - which is smaller than Joburg's one. And everyone is listed. Even the prime minister. So Oprah (don't tell anyone) looked him up and gave him a call. Unfortunately he'd already left work but she got to speak to his secretary. Poor guy.
I do have a deep respect for Icelandic humour. Aside from sounding like a softer version of Dutch when they speak, there's a definite sly/sharp grasp on life..."icy" perhaps? I say this because the speciality from Iceland was food..delicacies if you will. Namely shark meat - which by nature must be rotten (don't know why, but judging from audience and O*rah reaction it was nAsty) - and then sheep's testicles. Mwahahaaaa! Give that woman a cigar! Who comes on Oprah and says, "In my country we have delicacy - rotten meat and sheep balls?!?!" Unfortunately Oprah (don't tell anyone) didn't eat *anything* on that platter but she did throw back a tot of some clear vodka-and-fire-like liquid (and laughed an awful lot after that).
How much fun all of that was. So many countries to visit. Iceland sounds great. And it's normal to have sex on a first date.
# posted by Roger Saner @ 1:08 am 
